Saturday, May 31, 2014

We’re Friends, Right?

Have you ever noticed how many friends you have on Facebook? As of today, I have 1,123. Do I know this many people? Probably, and then some. Do I know them know them? Of course not.

Facebook hit the University of South Carolina the spring of my freshman year. Back then, you had to have a .edu address, and your school had to be a part of the facebook network. Just writing that makes me feel ancient. It was a big deal as we learned to navigate what was appropriate to post and what wasn’t. Thank goodness the rise of digital photography was a little behind my college days on facebook.

Since then, I’ve used facebook to stay in touch with a somewhat vast network of friends and acquaintances that I’ve met around the country and world. While I admit, I sometimes feel irritated by the content some people post, I enjoy the glimpse into their lives the social platform offers. How else would I know so and so got engaged, and so and so is pregnant, etc. These things, while trivial, help me feel connected to friends I no longer see every day, or even every year. I can keep up with them and all that’s going on in their lives, so when we do meet, we can pick up where we left off.

Mikel is an acquaintance from law school who also happens to be a facebook friend. While we maybe only spoke briefly once or twice during school, we inevitably became friends through the ‘book. This spring, Mikel launched a journey to meet (in person) his facebook friends: We’re Friends,Right?

I just love this idea and the extreme courage it takes to attempt something like this. Instead of jumping on the trend to defriend people he didn’t know on his friend list, Mikel is traveling the country and Minnesota to actively trying to meet and get to know his “friends.”

We met for coffee at Spyhouse in NE, one of my favorite local coffee shops. Sidenote – I love meeting people for coffee but I never actually drink coffee. I’m a tea or cocoa girl. But you just can’t say you are meeting someone for tea. It just sounds so pretentious. I digress.

While we began the meeting as strangers, our conversation flowed from one topic to another easily. Mikel genuinely wanted to learn more about me, even asking me about the nonprofit I’ve started and what I’ve been up to since law school. I think because we shared a bond of UST School of Law, we knew on a certain level, we had something in common. It felt a lot like my consultant days for Kappa when I’d meet hundreds of women where the only connection we had at first was our sorority.

We discovered we share a love of Seattle, and that he did his basic training at Fort Jackson, which is in Columbia, South Carolina, where I went to undergrad. Small world, huh? While it could be the start of a beautiful relationship, it was fun just getting to know someone a little better, to withhold judgment and really try to get to connect without a screen in between.

The thing with facebook (and Instagram, and twitter, etc.) is that it’s easy to forget the people behind their profiles are real. That they are humans with real feelings and dreams and troubles and struggles. I admire Mikel for getting out behind the computer screen and getting to know his facebook friends instead of simply defriending them. As his journey continues, he hopes he’ll continue to find the humanity within people, to remember that most likely they are good people, despite some of the annoying things on facebook. I get the feeling that the major life moments like graduation, engagements, marriages, babies, etc. are the type of posts he might stray away from…maybe not. I happen to enjoy them. I’ll like a newborn photo if it has a chance of letting that new mama/old friend from another time, that in her moment of joy, I’m thinking of her and her family. Why not? What do I have to lose?

Do you have a love/hate relationship with Facebook?


P.S. You can read about Mikel's take on our meet up here.

P.S. Have you ever been out and recognized someone but you couldn’t remember how you know them? Until you realize you don’t and you’ve only seen them in photos on facebook? Yeah, I have…awkward.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Tidbits: 5.30.14

This beach art is INSANE.

Best commencement speech yet.

My next DIY project.

For the love of all that is holy, it is Duck Duck GRAY DUCK. C'mon, people.

Frame by frame at the Sochi Olympics.

Interesting take on saying I love you, quality over quantity. 

Geniuses doing what they love. I love this. Especially #16.

Strengthen your relationships.

Happy weekend!


Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Cheryl Strayed on Love.


“It is not so incomprehensible as you pretend, sweet pea. Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children. It can be romantic, platonic, familial, fleeting, everlasting, conditional, unconditional, imbued with sorrow, stoked by sex, sullied by abuse, amplified by kindness, twisted by betrayal, deepened by time, darkened by difficulty, leavened by generosity, nourished by humor and 'loaded with promises and commitments' that we may or may not want or keep.

The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of it.” 

― Cheryl Strayed
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Sigh. Isn't that just perfect?


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Reading List Update

It's been almost five months since I created my 2014 Reading List and I thought I'd post a little update. I've read some, strayed from my list a bit, and ready some good books. While I have a ways to go, I feel like I'm off to a good start considering I've been more busy the past couple months than I can remember.

In case you are needing a good book, I thought I'd star the ones I think are worth reading. This is just my opinion. If one of these books changed your life, good! Reading is personal. Sometimes you'll be moved, entertained, bored, or inspired. Each book is different, and I'm loving the journey I'm on this year with my reading list.

* Worth a Read.
** Good Book and Worth Recommending.
*** YES. Must read.

Here we go:

Wild -  Cheryl Strayed
Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook - Gary Vaynerchuk
Daring Greatly - Brene Brown

The Circle by Dave Eggers *
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed ***
Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall & Denver Moore *
Love Does by Bob Goff and Donald Miller **
The House Girl by Tara Conklin **
Sycamore Row by John Grisham **
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes ***
Women Who Don't Wait in Line by Reshma Saujani

The Invention of Wings - Sue Monk Kidd **
The Interestings - Meg Wolitzer *
The Rosie Project - Graeme Simsion 
Allegiant - Veronica Roth **

The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp
Everything Is Perfect When You Are A Liar by Kelly Oxford

Personal History by Katharine Graham
The Starboard Sea by Amber Dermont
Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin
The Silent Wife by A.S.A Harrison
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Rules of Civility by Amor Towles
Following Jane by Samantha Scordato
Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan
Monuments Men by Robert Edsel
The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown
The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert
Until I Say Goodbye by Susan Spencer-Wendel and Bret Witter
The Woman's Room by Marilyn French
The Woman Upstairs by Claire Messud
Hateship, Friendship,Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
Frida by Hayden Herrera
The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark
The Liars' Club by Mary Karr
The Woman at the Washington Zoo by Marjorie Williams and Timothy Noah
Last Night I Dreamed of Peace by Dang Thuy Tram
The Lantern by Deborah Lawrenson
South of Superior by Ellen Airgood
The Paper Garden by Molly Peacock
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston
We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton
The Accidental Creative by Todd Henry
Envy by Sandra Brown
I Shall Be Near To You by Erin Lindsay McCabe
The Sisterhood by Helen Bryan
When I Found You by Catherine Ryan Hyde
Six Years by Harlan Coben
Genesis by Bernard Beckett
The Orchardist by Amanda Coplin
The Buddha in the Attic by Julia Otsuka
Southern Cross the Dog by Bill Cheng
The God of Animals by Aryn Kyle
The English Girl by Daniel Silva
State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf
Half The Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
Backlash by Susan Faludi
Get to Work by Linda Hirshman
Fear of Flying by Erica Jong and Fay Weldon
Big Girls Don't Cry by Rebecca Traister


Monday, May 26, 2014

Happy Memorial Day!

"Who kept the faith and fought the fight;
the glory theirs, the duty ours."
-- William Bruce


Images via The Graphics Fairy

Wednesday, May 21, 2014


Lately, there has been a lot on my mind. And by lately, I mean for the better half of a year. The future is a heavy weight to bear. I am a worrier. For someone like me, uncertainty is a soul crusher.

Thank God for K. For every thought I over-think, he is right there to say, "F**k it, just roll the dice." His instincts are so spot on. And for my entire life, mine have been too. Until this one decision I have to make. 

For the life of me, I don't know what to do. Maybe because there is no clear answer. Maybe because both options would be fine in the end. Maybe because the there is a third option that hasn't made itself known yet. Maybe I've lost my gut instinct I've relied upon for so long. Who knows.

It's hard to make a decision when there are so many unknowns. I'd love to have all the facts, all the research, all the information before making a decision. I want to know everything, to see the future, and make the right decisions. But when has that ever been the case? People make decisions all the time with not enough information. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

So what to do? Pray. Keep a book on my Kindle so when sleep is elusive, I can quiet my brain. Wait. 

And hope.


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

If You Need a Happy Cry...

...Sara Bareilles' new video will probably do the trick. Now, excuse me, I need to grab a tissue.

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