Lately, there has been a lot on my mind. And by lately, I mean for the better half of a year. The future is a heavy weight to bear. I am a worrier. For someone like me, uncertainty is a soul crusher.
Thank God for K. For every thought I over-think, he is right there to say, "F**k it, just roll the dice." His instincts are so spot on. And for my entire life, mine have been too. Until this one decision I have to make.
For the life of me, I don't know what to do. Maybe because there is no clear answer. Maybe because both options would be fine in the end. Maybe because the there is a third option that hasn't made itself known yet. Maybe I've lost my gut instinct I've relied upon for so long. Who knows.
It's hard to make a decision when there are so many unknowns. I'd love to have all the facts, all the research, all the information before making a decision. I want to know everything, to see the future, and make the right decisions. But when has that ever been the case? People make decisions all the time with not enough information. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
So what to do? Pray. Keep a book on my Kindle so when sleep is elusive, I can quiet my brain. Wait.