I'm stuck on the couch holding a sleeping baby. My arm is falling asleep, I've had to pee for the last hour, and I need to pump. Yet I can't bring myself to move.
This sweet boy refuses to nap more than 20-30 minutes anywhere but in my arms. We're definitely not sleeping through the night yet (how one child can be so hungry at 3am blows my mind), and bad habits be damned - I'll take the naps whenever and wherever I can get it.
And I know these first days and weeks can seem to last forever, but I'm trying to soak up every snuggle, breath of baby smell, and milk-drunk smile I can. Because already I feel time slipping away. My little man is changing before my eyes. I can tell by how fast he's growing out of clothes (6-12 month socks already?!).
So we're slowing down. Taking in all the moments. The playtime grins. The midnight cries. The tummy time. The trillion diaper changes. The way he knows our voices and follows us across the room. Every moment, even the ugly ones.
Have you seen this video yet? If you have humans, tiny or grown, you'll feel all the feels while watching it. Grab the tissues.
Here are a few other musings on motherhood, especially in the fourth trimester:
Dry shampoo and deodorant. That's all.
Although you'll be tempted, don't buy baby blankets before your baby is born. Because they are so damn adorable, you'll be gifted plenty. And you'll wish they came bigger than tiny human size because you'll love them so.
Why don't they prepare you for how loud babies can poop? It's absolutely terrifying.
There is a special place in Heaven for people who bring new parents ready-to-eat meals. And wine. Lots of wine.
There's no shame in relieving yourself while baby wearing. You do what you gotta do.
Maternity leave can be super boring - not always so don't judge me. But for someone who is typically doing about 10 things at once, I need a little more brain stimulation than avoiding pee when changing diapers. I've read the internet. Now (and always) taking book recommendations.
A beautiful mother-son relationship
Raising a son to be an emotionally honest man
7 parenting podcasts you should be listening to
And since it's Mother's Day, and there is so much that can be said about that, I'll leave you with these thoughts by Cheryl Strayed:
Dear ones: I know Mother's Day is a joy to many of you. I know it's a giant suckbag of sorrow for others of you. I know some of you are indifferent to it. I know some of you have wonderful mothers and you get to pick out the perfect card for her and take her to brunch and give her a bouquet of flowers and others of you are alone and weeping while watching your monstrously sad faces in the bathroom mirror, wondering why your mom had to die or be a drug addict or be mentally ill or be such an inexplicable evil shit to you. I know some of you desperately want to become mothers and can't and aren't and will never be and some of you have zero interest in becoming mothers and you feel sickeningly suffocated by a world that equates womanhood with motherhood and some of you ARE mothers and you love it and you treasure this day because finally someone picked out a card for you and took you to brunch and gave you a bouquet of flowers. I know it's a holiday that will change in meaning to you over time, even if it has not yet occurred to you that it will. Whatever it is, I want to say I know it's there and it's real and it's true because it's YOURS. I'm with you, wherever it is you are, in heart.
I'm with you, wherever it is you are, in heart.